Animals

Purina Dog Food Diet

Purina Dog Food Diet

When someone asks you a dumb question wouldn’t you like to respond like this?…..

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Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I’m retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won’t let me shop there anymore.

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And They’re Off!

And They’re Off!

And- They're- Off

And They’re Off!

 

The horses in the race are:

1. Passionate Lady—— 

6. Clean Sheets——

2. Bare Belly—–

7. Thighs—–

3. Silk Panties —

8. Big Johnson ——

4. Conscience—-

9. Heavy Bosum——

5. Jockey Shorts–

10. Merry Cherry

At The Post: They’re off!

Conscience is left behind at the post…Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosoms being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot. At the halfwaymark……Its Bare Belly on top…Thighs opens up and Big Johnson presses in. Heavy bosom is being pressed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly….Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson. At the stretch: Merry Cherry cracks under the strain..Big Johnson is making a final drive with Passionate Lady coming. At the finish: Its Big Johnson giving everything hes got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer. It looks like a dead heat, but Big Johnson squirts through and wins by a head. Heavy Bosom weakens and Thighs pull-up.. Clean Sheets never had a chance.

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