Animals

And They’re Off!

And They’re Off!

And- They're- Off

And They’re Off!

 

The horses in the race are:

1. Passionate Lady—— 

6. Clean Sheets——

2. Bare Belly—–

7. Thighs—–

3. Silk Panties —

8. Big Johnson ——

4. Conscience—-

9. Heavy Bosum——

5. Jockey Shorts–

10. Merry Cherry

At The Post: They’re off!

Conscience is left behind at the post…Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosoms being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot. At the halfwaymark……Its Bare Belly on top…Thighs opens up and Big Johnson presses in. Heavy bosom is being pressed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly….Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson. At the stretch: Merry Cherry cracks under the strain..Big Johnson is making a final drive with Passionate Lady coming. At the finish: Its Big Johnson giving everything hes got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer. It looks like a dead heat, but Big Johnson squirts through and wins by a head. Heavy Bosom weakens and Thighs pull-up.. Clean Sheets never had a chance.

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Talking Dog.

Talking Dog.

Talking -Dog

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the first semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents had given him for school.

Then he gets an idea.

He calls his Redneck father.

“Dad,” he says, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Fido how to talk!”

“That’s absolutely amazing!” his father says. “How do I get him in that program?”

“Just send him down here with $1000,” the boy says, “I’ll get him into the course.”

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000.

About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out.

The boy calls his father again.

“So how’s Fido doing, son?” his father asks.
“Awesome, dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this, they’ve had such good results with this program, that they’ve implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!”

“READ!?” says his father, “No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?”

“Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.

His father sends the money.

The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home, his father is all excited… “Where’s Fido? I just can’t wait to see him talk and read something!”

“Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked: “Is your daddy still cheating on your mama and messing’ around with that cute little redhead next door?”

The father says, “I hope you SHOT that damn dog”.

“I sure did, Dad!” “I sure did!”

“That’s my Boy!”

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