A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression “I presume”.​ One little girl held up her hand and said: “Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes and​ I presumed that the dishwasher was broken.” “Very good” said the teacher.​ Another one said: “This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage, I presume that​ the BMW wouldn’t start.”​ “That’s excellent” says the teacher.

Little Johnny at the back of the classroom gets up and says: “Yesterday I saw grandpa leave​ the house with a newspaper under his arm and headed for the bush, I presume that…….”​ The teacher interrupted him and said, “I stopped you because you have no idea​ what your grandfather was going to do, so you can’t presume anything.”

Johnny says, “Please Teacher, let me finish my sentence.” The teacher says, “Very well. Continue.” “As I was saying, I saw my grandpa heading for the bush with a newspaper under his arm.​ I presume he was going for a shit because he can’t read.”